Battles Are Forever

So continuing from where I left off. Life at Wilson was fun, the Warden was a nice guy, and there were many people from different Bschools including IIM A, B,C,L,XLRI, etc. Met and befriended a cool guy named Mayank, who is a commerce graduate, indeed a rarity in Bschools. [Incidentally, also met another commerce grad from XL who was staying in Wilson- Abhishek Jain. Hope he clears his CFA lv 2]. Basically, Rachit, Twisam and I used to go to office together, it was the same for us. Sometimes we took the bus, other times we hired a cab. Wilson college being close to Marine Drive, we had a gala time out there. Just watching the sea waves strike the shore is a sight which cannot be described in words, but gives you pleasure.

There are several cafes on the opposite end of marine drive, stretching across for kilometers. I liked Sukh Sagar, which offered quality South Indian food. A veg restaurant called Crystal is pretty popular out there. Many times the queue outside these places would be amazingly large. One of my favorite night past time was to roam around the beach, have ice cream and take in the fresh,cool air along with others.

On one weekend, we went on an outing with Twisam and his bong friends[one of them being Shilpa, my classmate at FMS]. We visited quite a few places, including the Bandra band stand, and had a delicious Biryani at Arsalaan.

Met up with Girish as well, who is enjoying his stint with ONGC, being sent off-shore in the middle of the sea for half a month at times. We went and visited the Nehru Art gallery, Planetarium and Science center. Along with a mall which was suffering from load shedding. Had a good time over-all. Ate Paapri chaat without dahi.

But I guess one of the best weekends was at Sentosa Resort, Pune, for the All India Pagalguy Meet [AIPGM], number 9. I went over to the Pagalguy HQ for the first time, where I met up with my batchmates Nikhil Nathani and Mridul, along with some other friends such as Sourjo Mukherjee from IIM Rohtak. Made new friends there as well. From PG HQ, we took a bus to the resort[in Pune], where we spent the weekend. Best part was getting to meet the PG team, and interacting with people whom I had always wanted to meet, such as Pallavi Puri, Varun Saxena, Apurv, Harshal Modi, and of course the Pagalguy himself, Allwin Agnel. The resort was pretty good, and we had great events, best of which was probably Chuck Gopal’s[Deepak’s] stand up comedy act. Of course, there was the famous Puyscar ceremony too. Later, in the night, we all sat on the lush green grass, and played mafia till 5 am in the morning. It was really a fantastic trip, and I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. The return bus journey, where I discussed about HR, with Anvesh(from TISS) was also worthwhile.

I should also mention at this point that I made friends in Tata Motors too. Some of the senior professionals out there are really great, and I simply love it how they encourage everyone to participate in all matters. People enjoy and people work. This is something I really loved about the company. During my penultimate week, Amitabha came to Mumbai again. This time, we went to Sanjay Gandhi national park and then onwards to another big mall. I somehow fell sick during that time, and had to leave early. Nevertheless it was a good trip, though we didn’t get to see any wild animals in the park.

Back to office, well Tata Motors got an Award for being the best learning organization in South Asia. To celebrate, we had cut caking sessions and an Official party scheduled. Deboo and I were the only summer interns to be present in that party. Which was held in the last week of my internship. Was lucky that I got to go there. The entire HR team was present, and I really had lot of fun. Even danced for a change[though am a horrible dancer]. The food was scrumptious, and the dessert mouth watering. After a great evening, went back to Wilson.

But then, slowly, it was time to wish adieu. To the TML employees and my co-interns. Some of which I had become close to, and bonded pretty well. It was an emotional time for me, no doubt. These two months in Mumbai were probably the best of my life.

First, it was Rachit, who left early, and I was left without a room-mate for a week. Twisam and Rito da left the week before I did. So I felt a bit lonely at Wilson. Thankfully Mayank was still there, and that guy is a pretty enthusiastic lot.

Finally, Deboo left on Thursday , leaving just the two of us[Megha and I] behind. I actually worked a lot on my last day in office. Had my final review, got many formalities covered. But still managed to take some time out during lunch to visit the Jehangir Art gallery, with Megha during lunch. Had lunch at Samovar café, which is inside the gallery and a pretty good place. The French toast was indeed delicious, and I would recommend that to anyone. The Alu ka parantha was okayish, but I have tasted much better paranthas. Honestly, you don’t get good north Indian food in Delhi. The final lunch chat with Megha was pretty good, and I knew I would miss Mumbai.

Finally it ended. The goodbyes were done, bags packed, and for one last time, I walked across Marine Drive. Glancing over the couples, the joggers, the sleepers, and the wanderers. Maybe I was just one of them, feeling the breeze, the waves rush by. I don’t know why but I could feel a tear drop at that instant. Thank you Mumbai, thank you Tata Motors, thank you all my fellow interns, my friends, my colleagues. It was just a super wonderful, amazing time I had. Till we meet again.

‘Satwinder, please don’t stop writing articles on your blog. They have always inspired us,’ remarked Eshan Sett, my junior, from the batch of 2014, FMS Delhi. The occasion was the freshers party. That left me thinking: Maybe I should really give myself another chance.

I admit it: for the past few months, I don’t feel like blogging, or writing. Opening Microsoft Word and then typing out sentences now feels like a pain. Is it because I am running out of ideas? Or is it because I am occupied with enough work? Or is it just because I am acting lazy? I don’t know, maybe a combination of all of them.

The juniors are here, and they are doing a great job. Am feeling nostalgic, and can remember my first semester, back last year. Time has really flown by like anything, and within the next 8 months, I will be an MBA myself[fingers crossed].

There are many things I Still think about. Why do some people drink so much knowing full well its harmful for them? Maybe cause the things which are the most taboo/restricted are the ones which entice people the most. How come certain guys get a girlfriend that easily and majority of the rest struggle to even get close to a girl? What is love anyways? And how many more years till we make contact with an external civilization?

Okay, I will end here. I think I need some more time before I can go back to continuous blogging. But as my friend Mayank said-‘It will all come back to you. Once a writer, always a writer.’

P.S.- I still haven’t got time to see Dark Knight Rises.

I have been thinking about this for a while: Maybe a new entrepreneurial idea. I have noticed that in quite a few organizations, bschools,workplaces, etc, we tend to waste a significant portion of our time on insignificant things. These things ultimately end up becoming time killers. This eats away a major portion of our time, which ideally we should dedicate on critical activities.

These time killers are trivial things: i) Formatting an excel sheet or a powerpoint/word document. Believe me, I have seen people spending hours deciding what color should be used, what font, and all that. Of course these things do matter to an extent, but people actually spend more time on formatting than on idea creation/strategy formulation.

ii) Wasting time on online chats/facebooks, etc. Of course social media is a great tool to market yourself and network with people. But more often than not, you just end up wasting majority of your time doing useless stuff which doesn’t benefit you in any way. Come on, go and meet people, chatting can only take you that far.

P.S.- Maybe some software package or similar can be developed which can automatically take care of the formatting, designing,etc and leave the manager to do more important work. Then of course, there are some managers who spend almost all of their time in meetings. I really wonder how constructive these meetings actually are.

Making this a simple Review post, of the 3 things I love to indulge in: Reading, Movies and Gaming.

Lets start with the serious one, Reading:

1) Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson- Brilliant book. Shows the positive and negative side of Steve Jobs. The charismatic leader, perfectionist, reality-distorter, marketer. Must read. 9/10

2) Losing my Virginity, by Richard Branson- Autobiography. Really well written. Loads of examples. Another must read. 8.5/10

3) The Creation of Wealth, by R.M. Lala- It’s a history of the Tatas from its start till 2003. Includes stuff such as Air India, IISc Bangalore, Taj Hotel, and several Tata industries. Really good book, but not for those who are seeking a fun novel. 8/10

4) Cosmos, by Carl Sagan- It’s a book on the universe. Astronomy, and life. What makes the earth special. Is time travel possible? And many other important mysteries. Based on the popular tv series. 9.5/10.

5) The Bourne Dominion, by Eric Van Lustbader- The only fiction novel I have read recently. Pretty good one for a time pass. Jason Bourne at his best as usual. The ending could have been better though. 7.5/10

Now, lets move on to Movies:

1) The Avengers- Pretty good movie. Showcases some of Marvel’s major superheroes. This was a light movie though. Load of humor, and good special effects. Has been one of the highest grossers in the box office till date. I loved Iron Man’s role the most. 9/10

2) The Amazing Spiderman- Reboot of the Spiderman series. Quite un-necessary according to me. Andrew Garfield looked like a clown[and acted like one] in the movie. The lizard was one of the most bogus villains I have ever seen. Story was incredibly poor. Overall- 4/10

3) The Dark Knight Rises- Good end to the triology. Could have made the ending better. I would have preferred one more villain to be there[like Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy or the Riddler]. Bane isn’t really that big a villain. And there is very little of Batman in the movie[I guess just 15-20 mins], but then again this film isn’t just about Batman. Action sequences were pretty good though. Overall- 8/10

Finally, its gaming:

1) Metal Gear Solid 3: Action/Strategy, This game, though pretty old[2006] is a part of the epic MGS series. The best part about it is the James Bond like storyline[including the title song], and a range of special characters. I absolutely loved every second of it. Snake at his best once again. The ending scene is one of the best ever I have witnessed for any games. Enough to bring tears of respect to almost any fan. Now the agonizing wait for MGS 4 begins[till I purchase a PS3]. Overall- 9/10.

2) Mass Effect 3: RPG/Action- The end of the Mass Effect triology. Got hugely criticized for its ending. However, the game on a whole is pretty good, with impressive gameplay, graphics and a decent storyline. It does get repetitive in parts though. But who doesn’t want to see Commander Shepard in action though? Overall- 8/10

3) Max Payne 3- Action- A game which was in the making for over 8 years. It was delayed again and again and again, and finally released. Was it worth the wait? Yes, it was. Max Payne is back, and he is badder and meaner than ever. No longer a NYPD cop, but a bodyguard of a businessman in South America, he is in a foreign land where crime and corruption is rampant. Can Max make it? The title music track[Tears by Health] is brilliant. The gameplay is superb. Though one wonders how Max Payne single handedly takes on hundreds and hundreds of villains and still makes it out in one piece. Story is pretty good as well. Overall: 8.5/10

P.S.- I almost feel like playing Batman Arkham Asylum and Arkham City after watching DKR. They were pretty good games too.
Anyways till next time.

Okay, am sitting in the computer center of South Campus[FMS Block]. Our class on Strategy has been cancelled, and there is still some time left for an HUL session to begin. So I decided to kill time by reading Fooled by Randomness, and by writing this article. Since I do not have any specific stuff to write about, and since I am reading about random events, I decide to write some random stuff here.

Yes, my gmail accounts and Facebook is open. Yes, I am thinking about how I should follow my passions. I see Nikhil Sandhir passing time by playing Temple Run on his mobile. While Raveesh Mayya types away rapidly on his Macbook Air, multi-tasking like a wizard. Dickens is on my right, and is working on some Finance project I have no clue about.

Karthik Junnuri pats me on the back and leaves, unaware that I am typing all this. Suddenly I remember that today an important Naruto manga episode is about to release. Karthik returns and tells me that yesterday was World Anger day. And that he had nobody to vent his anger on except for Satwinder.

Some guys are eating in the canteen. Others are just chattering about. The weather is good, but it has been raining cats and dogs in Delhi for the past few days. The streets are all clogged with water, but on the positive note, weather has become pleasant. I feel optimistic but also confused. Sometimes the same old feeling of-‘Why am I doing what I am doing’, returns.

Aashish Kumar asks me if I am chatting with my girlfriend. Unfortunately or fortunately, I don’t have one. And I wonder whether I should have one or not. Still undecided whether a single life is better than a committed one. What is Love like really?

This semester is a bit hectic, mostly due to college work[outside academics]. But for a change am liking almost all the subjects I have taken[marketing and HR]. Thank God for no Finance or economics. Can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Am spending my free time by watching Smallville and reading stuff. Music also helps, and so does walking. Superman is one character which has inspired me like nobody else. Don’t get time for gaming nowadays though. Nevertheless, glad to spend the remaining 6 or 7 months in North campus.

Where do I go from here?

Okay, I admit it. I have been thinking of closing down my blog now. Maybe because I do not get the time to write as freely as I used to,or maybe cause I just lost inspiration sometime down the way. Nevertheless, here is one more post.

Things I have been doing lately:

Books:
• The Interpretation of Dreams, by Sigmund Freud. Borrowed by Chirag Jain[batchmate].
• The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. Borrowed by Aparajita Puri [junior].
• Life of Pi, by Yann Martel[completed]- Borrowed by Mayank.

Anime:
• Sword Art Online: A new anime I started not too long ago. Its pretty good, based on a MMORPG. Has got good reviews.
• One Piece: Started on insistence by Mayank. This anime must have something in it to be that popular
• Fairy Tail: Re-started watching after a gap of almost 3-4 months, I guess
• Naruto Shippuden: Considering the fillers have arrived, I guess it’s a hiatus for this one now

Games:
None, thinking of starting with Elders Scroll Skyrim again

Series:
Game of Thrones: Pretty good one. Based on the Song of Fire and Ice series by G.R.R. Martin

Thoughts:

Well, the summers for the batch of 2014 is done with, and they have performed pretty good as expected. The Latest business today rankings give FMS the 3rd slot. Anyways, lets leave MBA for a while.
I do not get to have many meaningful discussions nowadays. Find it extremely hard to find people who think somewhat similarly as I do, or someone who can think of the larger picture. And the reason to blame, is once again, our great education system. Which teaches the students to kill their creativity, impedes their imagination, and just focuses on rote learning. As a result, most people just have a short term and narrow minded outlook towards things. Even in college, people just tend to think about marks, assignment submissions, and the like, rather than think about learning and adding value to their personality. Often, I inadvertently happen to overhear conversations which are mostly meaningless or pure gossip. Disappointing mostly. Even within MBA, a person becomes so short sighted, that he or she almost totally looses track of things which may not be directly related to his/her domain or specialization. Indians still regard thinking as a waste of time, and disagreeing with the teacher’s viewpoint is considered an act of blasphemy. And then we ask- Why doesn’t India produce any Steve Jobs? Why doesn’t India produce any organization or institution capable of leaving a mark across the world?

Semester exams are on, I have a tough paper to handle(Financial Management, never understood any Finance anyways), have the Fountainhead on my side(Yes, I still haven’t read it, you can mock me now), and spent the most banal Diwali ever[how? By sitting alone in my room and reading stuff). Nevertheless, I have finally(and hopefully) decided to write down a serious article(seems like ages).

Are Indians more sadistic than others? The answer to this is ‘I don’t know’. I do not have any exposure of any foreign country, and my knowledge is entirely based on whatever stuff which I have[which isn’t much], in spite of having a very meaningful course in this semester- Cross Cultural and Global Management. However, if you ask me,personally, I would be inclined to say yes.

Maybe, some of you will just nod your heads and move on, and some will be appalled and some will disagree ruthlessly. Feel free to accept or disagree with my view points. But I shall try to give some examples.

Let us start from two of the most popular Indian festivals. Diwali to begin with. Celebrated in India since a long long time. Mythological reason is return of Lord Rama from Vanvasya. Originally intended to be a festival of light, and triumph of good over evil. Presently reduced to a festival of noise and debauchery. Of course people love exploding crackers. What’s wrong about it you may ask? It’s a time to celebrate with your friends and family, right? Well, for starters, it exponentially increases the amount of air and sound pollution, affecting lot of people with breathing problems and mostly the elderly, or the very young. And there have been several instances of injuries being caused due to mishandling of fireworks. In certain cases, it even leads to death. Is it justified then, even if few cases of deaths are reported every year, to continue using fireworks? What if I just want to do something meaningful, but am unable to do anything over and above the loud noise, and I risk burning myself by just stepping out of my house.

But I have seen numerous people who take pleasure in sending a rocket flying into a neighbours house or exploding bombs on areas where they know elderly people stay. And surprisingly, many people consider it as normal, acceptable behavior.

Lets come to Holi then, another festival which is celebrated with much gust and pomp. Enjoyed by millions of people. Terrifies millions too. Especially women, who feel a high risk of their modesty being violated. Some of them lock themselves in their rooms, others try to avoid any contact. I have personally seen people turn into actual hooligans on this day, when normal criminal acts become perfectly legal, and even the police decide to become mute spectators. Throwing colors, grease, egg yolk, cow dung, cement, and what not, on others, under the pretext of Holi. Perfectly acceptable- ‘Bura na maano, Holi hai’ (Don’t feel bad, its Holi after all).

This was about festivals. What about organizations and behavior in general. Arent we a collectivist society? Supposed to care and encourage one another. Well, we are, partially. When it comes to taking credit, everyone comes forward to get his or her due of the pie and share. And when it comes to accepting responsibility for failure or defeat, everyone suddenly points a finger at everyone else. I have rarely even seen one Indian owning up his mistake, or accepting the fact that he was wrong. It’s always somebody else who gets the blame. Not just that, we simply enjoy and make merry whenever someone else loses and take exceptional delight in the fact. But when it’s our turn to taste defeat, we simply cannot fathom the fact that others are enjoying it. In India, its power,money and status that is valued more than anything else. You need to dominate and surpass above everyone else to succeed. This feeling is inculcated in us from childhood itself, where we are forced to compete, first in studies, then to get into a good educational institute, then a job, and then fight for position/status.

I could give several other examples. Being an ascribed society, we continue to think of ourselves superior to others, based on factors such as caste, religion, background, hierarchy, status, our educational qualification, etc rather than to compete on merit. As a result, conflicts keep on occurring.

For now, I will go back to Hofstede’s framework and stimulus generalization[MBA terms of course]. I could have written a longer article, but time constraints and pure laziness says otherwise.

‘I am happy’. Yes, I am happy. I feel content, blissful, grateful, for all that I have, and for all that I gained. Have been doing some trivial and yet meaningful things in the past few weeks or so. Cooking some random stuff[nothing great, just edible], reading a hell lot of books, played a couple of new games, and watched a ton of Bollywood movies[okay, if you don’t know me, I am a person who almost always sticks to Hollywood, considering the string of flops produced in Bollywood], such as Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Rang de Basanti, Udaan, English Vinglish, Oh My God, Mirchi, Ladies vs Ricky Bahl, amongst others. Am not sure why this sudden fascination for Bollywood.

Have cut down a bit on junk food, and trying to go the healthy way[minimized consumption of soft drinks and chips, have to cut down on chocolate now]. Am trying my best to be optimistic in every circumstance. Working in HR Society is a great experience. Working with other people is also a learning curve. But I feel I have been a bit lazy, considering the fact that I haven’t explored much of Delhi in recent times. And neither could I manage to make even one trip to some other town or city[whereas almost all my batchmates have gone hiking, trekking, swimming, in all sort of locations]. Sometimes, being a loner hurts. But I have learnt to accept it as a part of life. Not being in any group has both pros and cons.

I know that I have considerably cut down on writing. Mostly because, whenever I open MS Word with the intention of penning down an article, I often turn up with a blank. What to write next? Which topic? And so on. Nevertheless, writing is one thing which I don’t plan on giving up,ever.

I have also perfected the art of listening. Indians are known to be cantankerous speakers, but few actually try to listen out to things. Everyone is just bursting out to give his or her own opinion, without any regard for viewpoints of others. In this matter, I can listen out to people and I do try to put myself into their shoes, before taking any further decision.

There is an interesting OB[Organizational Behavior] course which I have taken this semester, called Counseling Skills for Managers. Surprisingly, the number of people in this course is close to 70, but most have just taken it in order to relax from the competitive environment of finance and marketing. However, I find it extremely interesting. The teacher is very good with her methodology, and even conducts psychological games in class. Have already witnessed some of the theories made by Freud and Jung, and now am seriously regretting the fact as to why I didn’t opt for Psychology or Philosophy at Undergrad level. I would have loved to be a psychologist. Oh, well, enough cribbing. One important lesson I got from a class, is that its important not to be judgmental about others. However, this is a near impossible task. We immediately form opinions about people we meet and interact with. We label them as smart, attractive, intelligent, rude, uncouth, lazy, etc. In most cases, we don’t even bother finding out the facts.

Then there is another Course called Brand Management, which I find interesting. Coupled with Consumer Behavior[previous semester], its pertinent to say that in many cases, Marketing is about creating the right perception in the mind of the customers. Once you start perceiving a product as good, the sales will automatically catch up[assuming lot of other conditions too, nevertheless]. Marketers have borrowed a lot from psychology as well. Professor Harsh Verma is one of the best faculty members FMS has.

Placement season is arriving, and I need to prepare for it. What exactly do I prepare anyways? Apart from some generic stuff. Anyways, I guess it’s important to build your content, and then know yourself well, and project it too.

Of late, am reading a lot of magazines as well. The Economist, HBR, Fortune India, Frontline, Businessworld, etc. A decent way of passing time and building knowledge at the same time. The people who don’t read are missing a lot in life.

And yes, I didn’t get a PPO from Tata Motors, so it’s the end of a nice journey and association with the company. Will have lot of fond memories to last a lifetime. But as of now, its time to concentrate on the future, and also act upon some of my goals/plans. Will be visiting home next week. Eager to meet a few friends, especially Maitreya and Girish.
Rest later, Merry Christmas in advance, to all.

Merry Xmas everyone[Yes, I know its belated]. And a Happy New Year in advance as well. I guess I will actually make a few resolutions this time, and try to stick to them, for a change. Am finally back home, after 6 months, and feeling relaxed after quite some time. Though the train journey was horrendous to say the least, with a delay of close to 20 hours, ,thanks to the fog and also a de-railment. I do not think the condition of Indian Railways will improve in my lifetime at least. And here I read another news of China flashing off 300 kmph trains over thousands of miles.

Anyways, enough of cribbing. After relishing some home made food, I met Maitreya, who is having a gala time in USA[okay, he might kill me for this], and borrowed a movie from him[Dictator]. Also saw Talaash along with him in a new theatre. The movie was below average, to say the least[Maitreya was cursing till the end, and even slept off in between].

Continuing to read lot of stuff[finished the Fountainhead and the Lost Symbol recently, the former is indeed a life changing book], including random blogs of people. Completed Hitman Absolution and Sleeping Dogs. Reading random stuff on Marketing, participating in random quizzes, sleeping, reading, eating, whatsapping, introspecting and reading some more. Its time to put the plans into motion.

MBA life is nearing its end now. Wont lie and say that I made a lot of friends, I did not. Indians should learn to be more explicit and not be diplomatic/apolitical all the time. Moreover, its also time to shed the ascribed society outlook, and give more emphasis on achievements for a change. Just because a person is from IIM A[no offense intended], doesn’t mean he is a super genius or another John Nash in the making. We keep tending to be in awe, just by hearing a person’s background or organization. I also admit that I did not make the most out of my MBA stay. I could have done many more things, but chose not to. Continued to be an introvert. Usually kept on my own. But still, tried to fulfill all my responsibilities.

I also believe that I am wasting lot of time online, either scrolling through useless stuff, or just on facebook/gtalk. I think I should actually go and have a life for a change[than being restricted online].

So what has been my impression of FMS so far? Maybe a proper post after I graduate, but yes, FMS has given me lot of opportunities which I otherwise would not have got. Am I happy? Yes. Am I satisfied with my current state? Hell No.
Guess I have a lot to change about myself. Signing off for the time being. See you all next year.

P.S.- Initially wanted to write a post like 2012- a Wonderful Year gone by, blah blah, but then, who cares really.

Some Bullet Points [in no order]: For the year Gone By

• Stayed in Mumbai for the first time[had visited it once earlier though], for my internship
• Got my first pay cheque
• Elected President of the HR Society, FMS Delhi
• Read tons of books and saw a hell lot of movies [useless point, agreed]
• Got used to Delhi traffic and the general public
• Learned to minimize expenses
• Laughed at the people who laughed at the so-called Doomsday Prophecy
• Made some new friends
• Fell for someone [yes, a crush]
• Got deeply frustrated/demoralized for a few times, and came out of it
• Suffered from several different health problems
• Became disillusioned and cut self off from the rest
• Failed in a subject [Financial Management]
• Got addicted to Whatsapp
• Handled a 4 year old kid and a 1.5 year old baby
• Completed Metal Gear Solid 3, and almost completed Final Fantasy 12
• Read the Fountainhead [finally, yeah]
• Performed in a Flash Mob [rather, several of them]
• Learned to accept what I am

'I think I love her,' I told PP.

'You think or you actually do?' she asked.

'I do. Am sure of it. I have thought about it a lot for the past two months. In fact, this is the only thing I have ever given so much thought to. '

'Hmmmm,' came the reply. 'Tab kis baat ka wait kar raha hai. Jaake bata de usko.'

'I..cant.'

'Huh. Why?'

'Cause...she may not understand. I mean we are very good friends, and she may not like it.'

'What are you saying man, cant get you.'

'We have been friends for a while, and I am scared that if I propose to her, she might get pissed off at me, and then start ignoring me or something. In worst case she might break all contacts with me.'

'If she is really your friend, why would she do something like that? '

'Cause girls are like that na. They prefer to ignore, as they know it causes the guy lot of pain.'

'Rubbish, dont make sexist comments like that. All girls are not like that. '

'I dunno yaar. I do like her a lot, but i guess I do not have the guts to tell her that I actually love her. I dont want to risk it at the cost of this friendship.'

'You have to decide man. Whether to take a risk or not. But if you keep waiting and hesitating, she will surely find someone else. '

'Noo, I cant let that happen. I cant even tolerate the thought of her being with another guy. Its just preposterous.'

'Then go ahead and say it. You must not repent later that you lost the chance. Besides she might like you as well. You never know'

' I dunno, man I really dunno. Am like totally confused. And the worst part is that I cannot really concentrate on anything else. Studies, work, nothing. '

'Whats so hard in expressing your feelings anyways?'

'I dunno. I normally never talk about any of this stuff. Love, romance, it never made sense to me. But i know that I like her because she is a genuine person. Honest and righteous. Someone who sticks to her principles and morals, and someone who can stand for whats right.'

'Then what are you waiting for. She is the perfect girl for you. Go ahead and confess your feelings for her.'

'But, but..what if she likes someone else?'

'Listen, in that case there is nothing you can do about it. Remember that her decision will be hers. You cant change it or influence it in any way. She will do whats right for her, and you must accept it. But in any case, she will at least know the truth. Dont hide it from her. She deserves to know.'

'I guess you are right, PP. Thanks a lot, as usual. I know I can always depend on you for anything.'

'Stop acting like a loser and go for it. And stop pestering me all the while too. Learn to believe in yourself. Bye and best of luck.'

Dear Diary,

I am writing this to you, cause honestly, I don’t know who else to say this to. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that I do not have any friend or someone I can speak to. Its just that I don’t feel like sharing this with anyone. I am not sure anyone will understand either. Maybe they will think that I am just a weak person who cant deal with his own problems. Who knows, they may be right.

Sometimes, I cry to myself. May not shed tears all the time, but it is still equivalent to crying. Why do I do so, you ask? I don’t know. Or rather, I don’t know from where to begin. Maybe it has all to do with running rat races, trying to do what the society expects out of you, what your parents, friends and peers expect you to do.

I feel I am at the wrong place. With the wrong crowd. Amidst a wrong setting, and about to depart into a wrong environment. This is NOT what I wanted to do. Hence, I could never really like this place. Oh, yes, made a few friends here and there. Some of them are probably genuinely concerned about me too. But I guess I have not been a good friend to anyone. I have tons of work to do, but somehow I feel just too sad to do anything at all.

In fact, I do not belong to any group out here. I am always alone, lonely, and mostly in despair or frustration. There is no single reason for this. I know that I am an introvert. It takes me time to open up to people, and I rarely talk about myself or my feelings to anyone. Its all business and other urgent matters that people want to discuss. Somehow, I never felt like doing so. Was I wrong? Maybe. Maybe I should have been more active, more social. But I guess facebook and whatsapp took over my social life. I became a virtual identity that’s all. Maybe my true self has been lost over time.

Some people have a very high opinion of me. That I am some superb individual, a fantastic writer, and an honest, passionate, helpful person. Then there are others who consider me to be a quiet, unsocial and selfish guy. Everyone is judgmental, and everyone forms his or her opinions about everything. In spite of having so many benefits, I am still not happy. Far from it. Worse, I have no clue what to do in the future.

I have got lot of advice too, mostly from well wishers. Watch movies, listen to calm music, exercise, meditate, go for walks, read books, play games, etc. I have tried them all. And yet, this deep, never ending, storm of negative emotions simply refuses to die down.

I feel that negative emotions have overwhelmed me, to the extent that I stay insanely depressed most of the time. I feel neglected, deprived, ignored, forgotten. I feel like escapist, wanting to run away desperately, but without a clue of my destination. I have started complaining about anything and everything. I feel that nobody understands me. However, the logical part of my mind says its just the reverse. There is no point blaming others. The problem is in me, and ONLY I can solve it. God helps those who help themselves right? But how do I help myself? Nevertheless, I am still an emotional wreck. And this is also not all.

I really like her a lot, Diary. In fact, I love her. Every single second spend with her is like a magical fantasy, like a fairy tale come true. Every single ping or message of hers lits my face with joy. But I do not have the guts to tell it to her. What if she likes someone else? What if she stops talking to me? Will I be able to bear that? Why am I so afraid? And why do I feel so jealous whenever I see her talking and spending time with other guys? I keep feeling miserable every day for no reason. With this pain and gash in my heart. What do I do? I am confused. I have started finding faults in every single little thing. I have almost broken up with my first love- reading. I think I am going mad, and if I don’t do something soon, I will completely break down.

Thank you for being patient and hearing me out, diary. Alas, I have to stop for now. Cause this rat race will never end. And I do not want to inflict any pain on others. But more often than not, I end up hurting or disappointing those I love. Then, at the end of it all, I ask the same question which has been asked for centuries- ‘What is the purpose of my existence? And do I actually deserve to exist at all?’

Yours faithfully,
A broken soul

All right, so am finally done with MBA. And it is really a sad fact, that this is just my third post of the year. Of course, I can take the help of various excuses- Placements, Exams, Work, etc, but I guess I just somehow lost the inspiration to write. But a proper ‘All I wanted to say about MBA’ type post is pending. In this post however, I shall be expressing my gratitude to all those people who made a positive contribution during my life and stay at FMS. It is said that in business, MBA and corporate, you don’t make friends, but only acquaintances, competitors and colleagues. How much of it was true for me?

Statutory Note: Though am mentioning the names of mostly a few people, but am indeed thankful to all FMSites and professors who I have met and known.
Lets start with the senior batch:

Batch of 2012:

I would like to thank Arpan Srivastava, for being an ideal Gsec, and helping us throughout the journey. Thankfully, we are still in touch. The entire placement team, all the society members, thank you for helping us in our ‘Summers’ prep. I would like to thank my mentor Rima for all her support she lent me, without which I am pretty sure I would have done a miserable job. Manmeet Singh Hora, for being a great support, especially with tying of turbans, spirituality, guidance and being a great person overall. Satyajit Bagchi and all the executive members of HR Society, for being supportive throughout.

Apart from the above a few more names to take: Saurabh Jyot Singh, who grows younger with each passing day, Chitrang, for being an excellent Mark Soc President, Ranjeet Pratap Singh, for his famous anecdotes. I admit that I did not make much of an effort to interact with the senior batch, on my side, which on hindsight was probably a mistake. Nevertheless, it was a good experience knowing a few talented people.

Now let us come to the batch, with whom I spent the maximum amount of time.

Batch of 2013:

Undoubtedly the first name which will come here is that of Abhirup Debray, the guy who stood behind me at all times, through good times and bad. Although we are polar opposites( he loves drinking and cursing), am still proud to have him as a friend. He has made it a long way, coming from a small town, and has always inspired me to go ahead and do well. Having known him even before joining FMS, it was a pleasure spending time with him. He is one person who will never bore or disappoint you. I hope you make it even bigger, buddy.

Next(do not take it in any hierarchical order, the names are just on random basis) to come is Mayank Rajput, another guy(from Gwalior) who I knew before joining FMS. He is a dreamer with a good sense of imagination. Creative, writes well, reads a lot, and a manga/anime fan(lot of traits similar to mine). Wants to be a big writer. I know he will succeed. A bit lazy yes, and it takes lot of effort to push him to work, but once he is committed to something, he will make sure that he does it. Nevertheless, sleeping is his biggest weakness. Stay in touch, dude.

Now we come to one of the biggest ghissus in our batch. Divya G, as we know her. A telugu by birth, but a proper Indian by choice(having travelled and stayed at multiple locations). Yet another person I knew before coming to FMS. She is very dedicated, hard working, focused and intelligent too. Once she sets her target on something, she will achieve it. She was always a big inspiration for me, and was always there when I needed her for emotional support, academic help, or for anything. And like me, a very strict follower of her principles. I only wish she wasn’t so short tempered, and so fudgy about marks. Nevertheless, a close friend for life, I wish you all the very best for the future in Cadbury and otherwise, Divya.

Lets head a bit west now, shall we. The city of Mumbai. Famous for Vada Pao. And Sheetal Kasbekar. She is one person I consider as close as a real sister can be. Never let me feel alone whenever I was depressed or frustrated. Very caring, very kind and passionate. Has that bubbly charm in her, like that of a school girl. Loves to eat a lot. And has a golden smile. But takes lot of tension at every small thing. Panics more than I do. But nevertheless, a very smart professional and marketing expert who will surely rock at Nestle. And help me in getting directions when I roam around in Mumbai.

Lets go back to the south(don’t worry, am not doing any regional discrimination here). Or we can even go to the north east, in Guwahati. This IITian from the south is an introvert, but still a brilliant guy. Karthik Junnuri or junnu as his friends call him, has a mixture of talents. But his best trait is that he will always be ready to help you, even if he has his own problems or tasks to perform. He is one guy I have hanged around with a lot. He makes you feel comfortable, and he really knows lot of stuff, even though he does not talk much, and has a soft voice. Miles to go, buddy.

Next comes another traveler, who has been at multiple places. Preethi Puram, the Media Secretary. Its actually hard trying to describe her in words. But she has been a great friend, an amazing person to chill and hang out with. Always looks frustrated, but loves smiling, even when she is angry. Is too self conscious, of her performance, looks, work, everything. But loves taking initiatives and doing fun stuff. Has supported me a lot, and is extremely trustworthy. You know you can share lot of stuff with her, in spite of her being in Media. I hope you keep rocking in ITC.

For some other quick names, I would like to thank Raveesh Mayya(most versatile and altruistic person in batch of 2013 without a doubt), Shashank Prabhu(very mature, calm and skillful), Tasneem Ahmad(for being a great support in HR Soc and otherwise), Vikram Kapany(Awesome Inspirational Figure), Akhil Kumar Som(Fearless and determined) Sunny Gajjar,Neha Kapoor, Snata Borah, Tapish Panwar, Vishal Sharma, Amandeep, Chandan Mandal, Priti Kumari, Tina Singh, Suhail Pawaskar, Ankit Kumar, Shashank Arya, Ashraf, Ankush Bhadrish, Nikhil Nathani, Richie Pandey, Ajay V, Aditya James, and a lot more. I am sorry if I missed out on anybody.

*To be Continued

*Continued from previous post

Of course, the batch of 2014 cannot be left behind either. The legacy of FMS has to be borne by them.

Though its true that I may not have interacted with my juniors much(thanks to my introverted nature), I shall still be glad for their support and best wishes. Thank you all, and hope you do well in your internships and remaining year ahead.

To Aarti Gupta, for being one of the first persons in 2014 I actually interacted with. Thank you for your incessant chatter and also for those few competitions(giving me some CV points). You have lot of potential. I do hope you do well ahead.

To Aparajita Puri, for winning the HR Leadership Award(for which you patiently waited for your check) and for giving me the Fountainhead(the best book I read in 2012). That helped me realize more about individualism. Also for motivating me to do well later on as well. Everyone knows you will probably be at the top of the Corporate ladder soon. Good luck.

To Inderpreet Singh Narang, not just for taking over the post of HR Soc President, but also for being a nice and humble human being. Competitive, knowledgeable and helpful, I am very sure you will do a great job at handling HR Soc and in your life ahead.

To Mayank Popli, for being a great JFS, as well as an active and smart personality. To Tapan Waval, for being a talented individual and gifted in the art of speech, and staying excited/enthusiastic every single time. To Vineet Jain and Sudeep Bansi, not just for being great JCSes, but also for fun people to talk to. To Mahesh Shetye and Yuvaraj, for some meaningful conversations we had.

To Parul Rai, for being a good friend and supporter throughout. Even when I was depressed or frustrated, I knew I could count on her to bear my nonsense. Always smiling, hard-working and talented, I am pretty sure she will do well in Mark Soc and otherwise. Thank you for all your encouraging words.

To all the associate members of HR Soc: Inderpreet(mentioned earlier), Parampreet, Abhrajit, Pritha and Aishwarya. I seriously had lot of fun working with you guys, whether it be in Fiesta or outside. Will definitely miss the time spent in HR Soc. Best of luck to all of you.

To my mentee Dhruv Jayant: Dude, you are talented. Don’t worry so much about MBA. To my buddy, Bijayini Samal: I hope you rock and have a gala time at HCCB, living the life of a princess. Sports soc will definitely do well with your presence. Plus bring out whatever potential you have in you. Keep in touch.

To Neha Joshi: you are sweet and talented. I hope you do an excellent job as the next Cultural Secy.

To Divyam Singh: Fellow Manga/anime fan. Awesome mimcry buddy. Wish I could have spend some more time on masti along with you. But anyways, I know you will do a good job as Media Secy. Stay in touch.

To Mayur Dhingra, Shaunak Acharya, Prajata, Swati Saini, Vinay Prithiani, Yagya, Pragnya, Rounak, Anish, Manu Oberoi, Manu Gupta, Pratinav, Harshal, Bhaskar, Manish, Deepak D, Apurv Narang, Eshan Sett, Sindhu, Asif, Nikhil Goud, Preeti Topno, Rohit Mishra, Adinarayana, Amrit, Arpit, Abhishek Bansal, Vivek, Dhruv Raghuvanshi, Gayathri, Shalinee, Prateek, Aditi, Sneha, Vinita, Vipul, Rishabh Kalia, Darryl, Shashank, Divya, Pratham, Srinath, Khushal: We may not have interacted much, but it was great knowing and speaking to all of you. I wish you all the very best ahead. Keep the legacy of FMS intact.

And finally, to Mehak Dhir:

It may have been a co-incidence due to which we became friends, but that was one lucky co-incidence I guess. I have learnt a lot from you: being a task-oriented manager, giving your 100% in anything, focusing on important issues, appreciating the value of others, opening up to others, experimenting with different type of coffee, amongst rest. Thank you for your motivation and inspiration throughout. Thank you for helping me fight the negativity inside of me. Though you should really try listening more, and learn to control your temper better. I still wonder why you don’t like calling yourself ambitious. You are naturally talented and intelligent to reach the top (whether it be corporate life or Mt. Everest). But I really appreciate the fact that you are a humble and really helpful/understanding person at heart. Finally, thank you for your patience too (tolerating my negative side can indeed be frustrating, I know). May God always support you in your endeavors. But you didn’t gift me a Hattori Hanzo blade. :( Nevertheless, you shall always be awesome.. \m/

Next Post: All I wanted to say about MBA

Recently, I was reading an article in the Economic Times, which mentioned about Failure, and start-ups/entrepreneurship. About the Indian society which traditionally tried to avoid risk taking in any field, especially when it comes to starting your own business. It also mentioned that failure is considered a taboo and looked down upon in our society. People who fail are stigmatized and sometimes even ostracized. They are even treated at par with criminals.

That article set me thinking. I could relate it to my own life. And I am pretty sure many of you reading this could relate it with your own as well. We Indians just don’t appreciate the value of failure. Most of us will be shocked to hear that Failure is something which is important to experience in life. Of course there will be many who will say- I have never failed once in my life. Or that, I always aim to succeed, etc. Don’t get me wrong. Am not saying that Failure should be your goal. But rather, we should accept the fact that failure is a part of life, and welcome it, rather than treating it as doomsday.

Lets start from a child. Ever since he joins school, he is constantly pressurized to perform well, in his studies, sports, extra-curriculars, and so on. Such high expectations can prove to be disastrous for the child’s personality. Often, he has to undergo humiliation and witness immense scolding or criticism by his/her parents, teachers and others. I have seen very few cases in which the child is actually encouraged to experiment, fail,learn and grow. No wonder the classical mindset of opting for a safe corporate/government job sets in from the very beginning, hence the establishment of rat races, and coaching institutes for IITJEE, CAT and the like.

I have seen cases in which the whole locality starts talking about that child, in case the poor soul actually fails in a subject, or God forbid, has to drop an year. Its seriously as if he has committed a crime which is unforgivable. I feel sad for this mentality which treats young children at par with criminals.
Competition in the Indian education sector is immense. Especially to get seats into the coveted institutions such as IITs, IIMs, NITs, etc. Thus from a very young age onwards, children are forced and pushed to enter such rat races. At an age when a child should be encouraged to pursue his/her own hobby or passion, to experiment and learn freely, he is forced to attend FIITJEE classes or mug up JEE study material.

But the worst part comes if the child actually fails to get a seat in any of the good colleges. He is labeled a failure, a loser, a good-for-nothing who is doomed in his life. Even his friends will start making fun of him. And all because he failed to crack IITJEE? I consider this the height of ridiculousness. But unfortunately, that’s how Indian society is. We tend to judge people more from their background, than from their real talents or work. Thus its the IIT rank that counts more than the sketches or stories which that child may be good at. And unfortunately, this rat race never stops. Even during placements, we compare the job profile, the package offered, and the benefits to decide who is the ‘best’, ‘second best’ and so on. For every single thing, we make needless comparisons which tend to destroy the inner self of the child.

Its high time that parents and teachers start educating their children with the fact that its perfectly okay to fail. Its totally fine to follow your own interests in life. As long as you are doing good and happy with your work, it doesn’t matter if you are earning more than your neighbor or not. Failure can teach a person many things which a normal, average situation may not. Fear of failure should not be a hindrance for a person to experiment, or try up something new. This enhances creativity and ultimately, performance.

Lot of people seem to have this doubt in mind- Why on earth Indians don’t talk about sex? Why are discussions on masturbation, condoms, homosexuality considered taboo in India? Why does a country with a billion plus population shies away from mainstream nudity in cinema[its all right to rape and kill, but nude scene- Strict No], or from educating children on how the reproductive system works? I think its high time people stopped pretending that children just drop down from the sky.

Sure, with the technology boom and net savvy generation coming in, some progress has been made in this regard. Especially amongst the upper class, and the growing middle class segment. Nevertheless, if you consider the country as a whole, a vast majority of people are ignorant about basic sex education, and this actually results in harmful consequences, from teenage pregnancies, to sexually transmitted diseases, and even crimes such as sexual assaults.

A common joke goes that in our country, its okay to piss in public but you cannot kiss in public. According to a lot of moral guardians, kissing or any form of pda [including holding of hands], is a heinous crime, and its actually an offense in India under the IPC. Apparently the reason for the same is that some people feel disgusted if they see a couple kiss or hold hands. Arguably, the ‘some’ part is subjective, and it’s very difficult to categorize or classify people according to their acceptance of PDA. Hence the ban[Am personally against the ban, I know its debatable but I personally don’t see how a couple kissing in public view can harm anyone in any way, and those who say it’s a distraction can just choose to look away].

India is a repressed society. We try to pretend in our every day existence that sex does not exist, hence its naturally evil or morally corrupt to talk about it. If someone tries to impart sex education, he or she is a perverted individual who is trying to corrupt the younger generation. Some states have even banned sex education in schools. And then of course there are millions of illiterates having no access to any form of formal education.

So we come to a situation where both parents and teachers hesitate to talk about sex, when it comes to educating children [Of course, that has been changing in recent times, nevertheless that has largely been the trend]. To give my own example, our biology teacher didn’t even utter the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ aloud even once, not even while teaching the reproductive system. As if just reading or hearing those words will make you a bad person.

So what happens as a consequence? People start getting half correct or incorrect information from other sources. Most guys learn about sex through pornography. Which is an extreme case of adult entertainment, and definitely not a tool on sex education. It brings about wrong ideas in the mind of youngsters. So instead of having healthy discussions on sex, it becomes a taboo topic. Sex is considered as the forbidden fruit, and not just as another human activity like eating, drinking or sleeping.

That is the first step towards depravity. Guys start making all sort of perverted jokes related to sex, and its usually at this time [onset of puberty], that slang usage becomes common. Most of these slangs are directed at insulting women. Something which makes them lose their ‘purity’. For many guys, losing their virginity becomes some sort of an achievement, something to be proud of. Staring at whichever girl passes by becomes common[No matter how hard they deny, most heterosexual guys do stare at women and at their body parts]. Passing of lewd comments begins from that point. And its almost always directed at a girl’s body parts. Girls are also compared, according to the sizes of their bust, etc. Yes, all this may sound disgusting, but it is the truth. And mind you, am not talking about those illiterate punks or rogues out on the streets, but educated folk, even sons of rich people. I have met very few people in my life[am not generalizing, but giving a personal view] who have actually respected women, even when no girl is around. It’s very clear by the way they talk and their reaction whenever they see or meet a female. Ironically if you directly ask a guy if he or she respects women, the answer will be almost always a resounding yes. And the next moment they will say-‘Wow man, just look at that Maal on the street.’

Of course we live in a patriarchal and male chauvinist society. So its pointless to repeat such points. But the bottomline is that we need to change. If you take the Delhi metro, many guys even argue that girls should not enter a general compartment, because a separate one is reserved for them. They fail to understand the need for reservation in the first place. It’s because the plight of a girl in a crowded general compartment is miserable to say the least. Moreover, a lot of guys even claim that it’s the girls fault for actually ‘brushing’ or falling on a guy and then complaining that the guy was trying to molest her. To such people I would say-‘Get a life. Just try to imagine yourself in a girls shoes trying to hold her bag and protecting her modesty at the same time, amidst a pack of hungry wolves and its only then you will understand what it feels like.’

Its because these guys have never had an healthy discussions on sex and reproductive life, that they feel so repressed. Actions such as groping, molesting, staring, eve-teasing, commenting and even serious sexual assaults arise as a consequence. It may build up slowly and gradually, but not talking and not knowing about sex is one of the reasons for the same. Its also due to our social upbringing, that even today many people believe that boys and girls should not mix up or play together. Especially for girls, who should limit interactions with guys, and curb her sexuality. So naturally, its again the forbidden fruit thing coming out to play.

Many people will also be disgusted if they hear a guy and a girl, who are not a couple discuss things related to sex, or precautions, etc. They will label them as people with loose morals, and the girl will almost definitely be called a whore or a slut. In an ideal society, even if a girl chooses to have a partner before marriage, it does not mean she has no morals. Every individual should be ready to bear the consequence of his or her action.

Rather, once we start opening up more, once we start educating our children, I believe objectifying of women will reduce, and that in turn will also lead to a reduction of crimes. But whether that will actually happen will remain to be seen. However, stop feeling ashamed of speaking about sex in public. Deal with it positively and not negatively. Sex is definitely not a sin, and nothing to be pushed under the carpet. Also try being less judgmental if you can[For eg- A girl who is not a virgin is not a whore, and a virgin guy is not a loser]. Its something am trying to follow myself.
But I will try to be an optimist. More on this later.

Okay, some updates about me this time. For the past one month, I have been sitting at home, and doing nothing. Yes, idling my time, before I start my first official job, at BASF India. Will probably be shifting to Mumbai now. I liked the place during my 2 month stay during the internship, and hopefully the experience will be good again.

I was about to write a lengthy ‘All I wanted to say about MBA’ sort of post, but then decided against it. Dunno why exactly, but just didn’t feel like writing about my MBA experiences. After all, it’s the most hyped degree in India. Maybe I will write about it someday in the future. Then again, maybe not.

So what have I been doing the past month? Mostly, reading and watching stuff. Some books which I am spending time with include: Midnight’s Children by Rushdie, Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino, Beyond Good and Evil by Nietzsche, Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson, amongst others. Apart from this, I have been reading several blogs and other stuff online. And I admit I have wasted time going through several confessions page as well[mostly TCS, Infosys, Delhi Metro ones].

I only tried one new game in the vacation, and that was Dishonored. I wasn’t pleased with it. The game has got very good reviews, but I somehow felt it was too repetitive, and left playing after completing 3 missions. Am really looking forward to 2 games: Batman Arkham Origin, and GTA V. Other than that, my passion for gaming has taken an all time dip. My father is doing some research on the partition of Punjab [he even purchased a fat book on the same, I may read it too later].

I saw some good movies too. Identity, Dead Man Walking, Oldboy [Korean], Mulholland Drive, Kai Po Che [hated the ending though], to mention a few. Cant get enough of the suspense/thriller category. Identity in particular was a brilliant watch. I was kinda disappointed with Iron Man 3, mostly for the way they portrayed Mandarin. Really looking forward to Man of Steel now. Oh and I just read that Bryan Singer is making a new Xman movie[kinda a reboot],and surprise surprise- Cyclops is not included YET AGAIN. This seriously PISSED ME OFF. I mean come on now, give the man some credit. He is the leader of the Xmen after all, not some guest character with an occasional appearance. They way he was shown in the earlier movies was seriously very disappointing to say the least. And he has been ignored once more. I so wish some sensible director made a Cyclops:Origin movie for a change [We are getting tired of the repeated Wolverine crap].

As for tv shows, am just sticking to Game of Thrones. Though I must admit, I didn’t find Season 3 as good as the earlier 2. Still debating on whether or not to get the books.

Rest, I admit I am getting frustrated/depressed periodically. Maybe because I don’t have proper work to do. To add to this, my planned trip to the North East got cancelled too. I so need a vacation. But unfortunately I never get any company [blame my introvert nature and lack of friends for that]. And yeah, no friend here either.

Oh and yeah, am learning to cook as well. Just basic stuff, but an essential survival skill.

P.S.- I think its high time I shifted to Wordpress now.

P.P.S.- Its been raining here continuously for over a day now. Weather is super awesome.

I bet the caption caught your attention, didn’t it? Anyways, this article is based on my personal experience, being a moderator at Pagalguy.com, and also active at several other MBA forums. Call it ego or whatever, but the truth is that most Bschoolers become incredibly defensive when it comes to talking about their alma mater.

After all, nobody wants their[or their bschool’s] skeletons to be out of the closet, do they? Naturally, everyone will only talk about the positive aspects of joining XYZ School of Management, and will conveniently leave out the cons. If at all they are included, they will be as good as being neglected. Most placement reports claim 100% placements, with the top brands on the front page. This gives a very wrong impression to aspirants. Say for example, a particular bschool had 400 students, and the top 100 got good offers, and the bottom 50 remained unplaced. Still the placement report will suggest that ALL the students were placed in decent companies with good profiles.

This is an era when even the top bschools are struggling to place all their students, not to mention the tier-2 or tier-3 ones. But this is not the focus of my article. I find it irritating when bschoolers try to hide details from the public, openly resort to lying, and get into heated arguments whenever there is a comparison between bschools. A common comparison is between an IIM and a Non-IIM, albeit top bschool. Just for an example, lets take comparing IIM Lucknow with XLRI, or a new IIM versus MDI/NITIE/IIFT. The IIM grads will swear that an IIM tag matters a lot, whereas a non-IIM grad will focus on other aspects[say location, alumni base, etc]. Some people will claim that an IIM is an IIM, hence it’s the sole reason for you to join. Others will remark that it’s better to take a bschool which is well established than to worry about an IIM tag. This is just one example out of many.

Unfortunately, this only adds to an aspirant’s confusion and doubt, since he will get biased reports from both sides. Recently, one guy called me up asking for my opinion on IIM L vs FMS. I tried to give him as objective a perspective as possible and even highlighted the points where L scored over FMS. However, I know from experience that most people will not do that. They will go at any length to defend their own bschool.

It saddens me to say this, but some of my batchmates have done the same too[repeatedly claiming FMS’s superiority over others]. There is a [albeit thin] difference between promoting one’s bschool and blindly boasting about its strengths.

Some of the common confusions [for aspirants having multiple converts are]:

i) IIM A vs IIM B vs IIM C
ii) IIM L vs FMS vs XLRI
iii) IIM I vs IIM K
iv) MDI vs NITIE vs IIFT
v) New IIMs
vi) SP Jain vs JBIMS vs newer IIM [including K]
vii) IMT vs NMIMS vs XIM-B vs SIBM

And others.

My advice to bschoolers: Guys, you people are talented and wise. Stop misguiding others, and try to lay out as objective a picture as possible. Trust me, it will increase the respect people will have for your bschool.

@Aspirants: Don’t get misguided by what an institute’s placement report claims. Talk to the students, alums, and third parties [neutral] to get an overall picture. Lot of bschools don’t even have proper campuses of their own[but advertise it]. And if you have multiple converts, don’t spend too much time over-thinking. Just set your priorities and chose one and stick to it. Remember, if you have it in you, you will be successful no matter where you end up.

Adios for now. It’s time to play Call of Duty: MW 3.

Right now I am sitting at home, doing nothing. Well almost nothing, apart from reading some books, watching Smallville and One Piece, and occasionally sports and Emotional Atyachaar (yes, you got that right) on tv. I have been doing the same for almost two months now. From next month onwards, I shall be a Management Trainee at BASF India, Mumbai.

I have been growing through some mood swings recently. Often, I end up feeling depressed and frustrated, when negative feelings take over. Maybe its cause I don’t have any proper work to do. Or maybe because there is no friend here in my home town. Which again sets me to introspect and retrospect. Hence this post.

What is the definition of a friend to me? Okay, I will skip that. Why do I have so few friends? That’s a more interesting question. Well, first of all I would like to mention that I categorize my friends according to hierarchy. I know quite a few people will claim that they treat all their friends equally, etc, but that’s plain crap. Nobody can treat everyone similarly. There is bound to be bias. Hence, I clearly claim that I make a hierarchy of friendship. Unlike my previous posts, I shall not be taking any names in this one.

At the top layer, there is the Category 1. This is an exclusive category for my closest and true friends. Only 3 or 4 people fall in this category. These are the ones whom I can trust blindly, and have known since childhood.

The second layer, category 2 comprises of those friends whom I may not have known for very long, but nevertheless I do trust them to a large extent, and I also feel comfortable and happy in their presence. It brings about a positive aura, when I am surrounded by them. Nevertheless, I shall not be sharing everything with them.

The third layer, is category 3. These are those people with whom I have had multiple conversations, and I appreciate their work. However, I do not share any close bonds with them, and it wont make much of a difference to me if I am not in touch with someone for long. Sometimes I even have had fights, and arguments with these people(Of course, we can all generalize and say that friends keep having fights, but I meant differently).

The last layer is category 4. These people are not strictly friends, but more like acquaintances and present in my facebook friend list. I may have talked to them a few times, smiled to them out of courtesy, but beyond that, there is scarcely anything. They are just one degree above strangers, in my view. Highly likely to be forgotten as time goes by.

Yes, I know many of you will find this categorization strange or even bizarre. But that is exactly how it is. In fact, our minds are tuned to categorize people in different ways, based upon our perception of them. This is one reason why we can never totally avoid being judgmental.

So back to the original issue at hand. I admit, I have very few ‘true’ friends, ie those who belong to category one. And not many in category 2 either. What is the reason for that? Being an introvert? Being unsocial? Maybe, both of the reasons are true. I also usually do not initiate a conversation. I do not like talking about myself. In fact, I do not like talking without any purpose[ie random chit chat]. I prefer to listen. And I very rarely open up to anyone. I never share my feelings with others either. So I guess those are the logical reasons which my mind shares. But the truth may be different. Who knows.

Now, to come to a specific area: Female friends. Zero in Category 1. And just a couple or so in Category 2. That’s it. Surprised? Well that’s the truth. I have very few female friends. I could count them on the fingers of one hand. I guess the problem is that I rarely talk to females about matters besides education/work. And even that talk is limited. I studied in a all boys school, and had very limited interaction with girls, even in college. Of course, if you do Engineering and then MBA(from a premier institute) your interaction with the fairer sex is bound to be limited. Forget dating or asking a girl out, even talking to a girl was like a difficult chore for me. Though of course, I did talk to a few of them, and have chatted online with many, but could hardly make friends with anyone. I can even say that I did not have a single female friend before MBA. My closest friends are all male. And I do not see any change coming in the future.

Sometimes, I do feel sad about it of course. Most of my batchmates (both engg and MBA) have a healthy mix of friends from both genders. I would have desired the same. Maybe not many friends, but equal numbers of both genders. However, that was not to be. I guess it is because of my nature.

I do not believe that facebook chat and gtalk is an alternative for actual face to face interactions. In fact, virtual friendship has made life tougher for us. I resent the fact that I spend more time chatting and whatsapping than talking to people in real. This is something which I must seriously change in myself. I hate socializing, but I could try that too, in Mumbai. Maybe participate in some blogger discussions or debates, etc. But of course, I will avoid parties, as I consider them to be a simple waste of time. Travelling is something which I want to do as well.

You know that you will feel miserable when you badly want to go someplace (such as the movies) but don’t have even a single friend to accompany you[I watched both Iron Man 3, and Man of Steel alone]. But the fault is in me, attribution theory has taught me that.

See you around folks.

Often, I retrospect about my school and college days, and quite often than not, my thoughts wander to my teachers. I have had the privilege of studying under some teachers with an outstanding prowess in the English language [NOTE- SARCASM]. Before you start judging me, I would like to say that I have nothing personal against these personalities. But I would just like to share a few quotes/statements which have made them popular. Of course, I shall not be taking their original names. Also, I have NOT exaggerated the following quotes in any way. My classmates will testify for that.

Let us refer to them as T1,T2 and T3[There would be many more, but then I cannot let this post run forever].

T1= Maths Teacher, T2= Physics teacher[Nickname- Apple], T3= Electronics Teacher [Nickname- Spoken English]

T1: ‘Hey, Quiet All are. The Principal has just passed away.’ [When the principal walked by the classroom]

T1: ‘Now, integral calculus solves you all are. This formula remembers you. Exam very important formula is.’

T1: ‘You middle boy last bench all are. Stand up and go into the blackboard. The sum solves you.’

T1: ‘Open the window. Let the air force/atmosphere come in.’ [Okay, this one is common, I agree]

T1: ‘Come meet me underground in the break time when I am empty.’ [Interpretation: Meet me on the ground floor, during break when I am free]

T1:’ When I talk, you talk, no middle talk.’

T2: ‘Today I will explain laws of moshain [motion]. The apple falling head, Newton falling, gravity, to and fro moshain, which is loose moshain.’

T2: ‘Arrey hum tumko aisa marega ki tumhara laal gaal ko maar ke safed kar dega.’ [Translation- I will slap you so hard that your red cheek will turn white, (whatever that meant)]

T2: ‘The atoms moving zig-zag on floor is Simple Harmonic Moshain(motion)’

A female student asks T3 for permission to go to the washroom. His reply: ‘Okay, lets go.’

T3: ‘No AC will go where DC will go. You no go where AC will go. Your ghar will have AC. You don’t know where is AC.’ (Note- AC stands for Alternating Current, DC for Direct Current).

Unfortunately I have forgotten about T3's epic comments, especially during our practical sessions in Electronics. Some of his statements used to make us ROFL, literally.

If there is one serious regret which I have in my life, it’s the fact that throughout my education life(which recently ended), there are just a handful of teachers I have known whom I consider to be good. And just to clarify, its not just because they were not proficient in English. Even otherwise, I can barely remember a time or situation when I looked forward to attending a class.
And this, in spite of me getting an above average education. I can only imagine the quality of education in majority of the schools and colleges in India. Isn’t there anything which we can do to improve the standard of education in this country? Forget the Government, it obviously doesn’t care. Its time for the private sector and NGO’s to step up.

Finally, a blog post, after quite some while. This is my first post after joining BASF India as a Management Trainee. So finally, corporate life begins. But this post is not about my corporate experience. But life outside of it.

This is the famous monsoon season in Mumbai. Its literally raining 24 x 7 on some days. I am used to getting wet repeatedly. I made a cardinal mistake of losing my umbrella in the first week itself. Then bought a new one, which conked out after using it for just one time. Just great! On top of that, the strap of my watch got torn, my mobile is at an all time bad condition, and the worst part is that I badly injured my right arm, and got a skin infection to go along with it. I also have other health problems, but there is no point mentioning about them.

But I still have had some fun to say the least. There are nine other management trainees out here, and we are all staying at the same place. There are lot of things which I have been doing, and recently we all went out to watch Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. I found the movie very inspiring, and would definitely see it again later, if I get the time. Farhaan Akhtar was just brilliant. I haven’t got the time to go exploring Mumbai yet, as I am busy with work. But I am definitely planning to go around once I get a bit of free time. Hopefully will meet up with some friends as well.

But the good part is that, I am actually glad to be busy. For two months, I did almost nothing but watch movies, play games, and waste time on facebook. So it’s a nice welcome change to actually work and be preoccupied with positive activities.

I am actually hopeful for the future, and I am looking forward to doing something big. And there are lot of other plans as well. Time management is the key. But am not even getting time to read books right now. Still trying to remain regular with newspapers.

Internship Diaries, Post 2

Why so Low?

Wasting Time?

Review: Reading, Gaming, Movies

Where do I go from Here?

Closing Down

Are Indians bigger Sadists than the rest?

Chilled Winter, Delhi Style..

Lost in Time

What If....

A Broken Dream, a Random Soul

The Final Tribute, Part 1 (FMS- Batch of 2012 and 2013)

The Final Tribute, Part 2 (FMS Batch of 2014)

The Art of Failing

Taboo Inc.

Updates, Blah Blah!

My Bschool Bestest

Why I have so few Friends!

R.I.P. English

Work Life!